When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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