Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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