Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
