hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
