Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
