I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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