There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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