i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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