I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
