He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
