I think I am morally bankrupt
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
