Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
