Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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As shirtless as possible
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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