pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
