just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
