Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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