I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my shit smells like andre
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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