if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
