can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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