When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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