the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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