arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
