try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
