Non-Jews are for practice
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
