I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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