Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
