I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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