Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
