when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
