I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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