I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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