I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
