Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
