if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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