my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
