i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
