I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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