just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize