I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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