fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
