and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
