so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have fence marks all over my body
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
