Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Let's paint friendship bongs
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
