u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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