your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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