You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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