Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
