You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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