i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The Olympian is in my bed
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
