I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
