i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
