This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
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Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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