I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
