Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
