I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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