OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
