She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
