We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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