youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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