You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
