a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
