Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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