I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he shaved USA in his pubs
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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