What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
