Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
